Nope, you can’t have just the latter! Wonder where you left your phone? They say you lose your mind as you grow older... what they don't tell you is that you won't miss it much! Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents. You know you're old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office. But happy birthday, dear.5. Oh, but that would have been confusing.

Did you forget their birthday? Happy Belated Birthday! Happy birthday!14. Why is it called a birthday? Wearing a tiara over your head and giving everyone birthday caps won’t be making you any younger.81. Smile while you still have teeth. But Hey! They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head. A wise man once said, "Forget about your past, you cannot change it". I’ve never heard of Superheroes wanting any gifts, but I have heard that they throw the greatest parties.67. Happy birthday and my heartfelt condolences to you for aging up!55. Many more to come.54. I know this is early, but since I haven’t gotten an invitation, I thought of letting you know that none of us are planning any surprise party.97. Happy birthday gal, I am political enough to remember your birth date but to forget your age.22.

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without thinking, "I may as well pee while I'm here." Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? You know you're old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.

Happy Birthday! Love, your son. In case you feel lonely, neglected, unloved or simply forgotten, they say you should just take a loan and miss a few payments.
Just know you’re getting old when you need an umbrella in the rain.89.

It took you [insert age] years to look this good! When I grow up I want to be just like you... but hopefully with more hair! Happy Birthday!

Or better, just change your birthday to tomorrow on Facebook!38. If you really want to look young and thin and pretty on your birthday call everyone’s grand moms and grand dads and play chess and poker.71.

Thanks for always being older than me. I'm so pleased to hear you're over the hill instead of under it. It's your birthday, just drink whatever's in the glass! Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake?

The only thing that comes without effort or hard work is old age.98. Happy birthday.7.
Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. Without clothes.10. So get me the biggest piece of cake, half your gifts, and some money, please.69. The tragedy of getting old: So many candles... so little cake. Write them in birthday cards, send them by SMS or email, or message someone on Facebook or Twitter. Your age. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Candles are years Happy Birthday to you! Just get us drunk, and we all go home happy!83. Upgrade from boring birthday wishes, and enjoy the memes and messages below.1. No, I did not forget. I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but they wouldn’t let me courier myself to you. It’s your birthday!45. 26.

Cause that shit doesn’t work.64. So where do you plan to spend your birthday at? Happy 18th! Start counting the cavities in your mouth, rather than the candles on your cake. Looking [insert age] is great - if you're sixty. Birthday wishes!70. If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you're a genius! That would be awesome... if you could remember any of it. Happy Birthday! Happy Birth-month! When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.

[Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party! Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. You're not old! This birthday party won’t even be happening if your parents knew your actual marks.

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